bastard

now..
its gone completely.
like motherfucka it is.
just a bad dream my assumption is..

thanks.
:)

aq geram sbb bdak ni mata bulat

ri ni aq bgn lambat giler
ni smua kwn uni aq punya pasal..
hahaha..tapi best.
lama tk jumpa dorank.
ri ni aq bgn kul 2.30pm.
smua plan pagi jadi..aq je kena tinggal.
:)

petang tadi aq g sek9 beli game..
apa la..aq beli game..
22 tk leh main..
install bukan main ssh lgk..
buang masa je beli.
bazir plak tuh.
2 ari ni..
seronok tul.
dapat jumpa fam sambil rehatkn diri.

ri ni rasa laen mcm giler..
asal ah..??
plik2.
bwat bodo sudeyh..
da 3 ari tk keja.
best2.
nsb baek ada kenduri.
rindu plak nk keja.
isnin keja.
cun2.
ill wait.
moto plak bwat hal..
india tuh welding ntah pape ntah
bocor lgk..
pas ni kalau tk bwk g kedai mesti tercabut ekzos..
nk kena bawak.penting.
asal keta vibrate lebih ek..??
ni mesti absorber lembut da..
kena tkar gak..penting.

kenduri smua ok.
kjap jer.
tk sampai sejam.
da abes smua.
kwn yg aq call.
smua dtg.skit je tk dtg.
im happy.
its kinda weird but still enjoy.

since ada kenduri..
smua family ada tido kat umah..
bilik saya jadi mangsa..
tuala bersepah,baju kotor bynk,katil tk berkemas,toilet tunggang langgang,
kalau kak fatimah tahu ni..
mesti dier mara.
baek korank smua kemas balik.
kalo tk repot kt dier.
hahahaahaha!!!
k la.
ngantuk.
nak tido ngan mama.
selamat malam smua.

LIFE IS SO..DAMN...DIFFICULT..COMPLICATED.
ntah pape ntah.
=)
mlm ni ada kenduri.
so cm bz ah..
tapi rasa cm tk brapa bz pun...
barang masak da beli,ri ni khemah kena set,krusi meja bawak kua..k2.done
so i just chill.
see u all my fam tonite.
luv u all.

everyday its getting heavier than i thought..

the world is not fair..
god is not fair..
but who am i to think like that..
im feel that evryday each day i bcome weak..
hurmm..so fuck up.
hurmm...bosan hidup ni..
think like wanna die happily but of coz i cant do that coz i cant live the mess i do just like tat..haish

lgk satu..
ingt nak cari kerja..
rupenyer satu apa pun tk dapat..
padahal bnyk tempat da pegi..
tuh pun tk dapat gak..
apalah..bila dah usaha..
cm ni la slalunyer..is this fair..?

mama mama mama..
tk paham lah..
asyik2 nak kena cakap bnyk kali.
pas tuh marah n merajuk..
padahal i tell bnda yg btol..
now i feel so guilty gila2..
so guilty..
mesti dosa besar ni..
tkde ampun2 da kot..
watever lah..
as long as i think wat i do is right..especially time like tis..

arap2 apa yg terjadi to me from the first day i born until now ada hikmahnyer..

woke up.
pg breakfast.
straight pg bangsar afta that dgn etty.
then meeting my eldest uncle on papa side.
have a lunch with him kat DELIcious
wat can i say is..
million THANKS uncle.

erm..at nite..
meeting with my friend.
akim,faiz n cendol.
seperti biasa borak kosong.
not much to say.
hurmm..maybe thinking of calling dier.
but dier sebok ngan dinner.
hurmm..but she said can call but lambat skit.
then i call..luckily dier baru abes n nk mandi plak..
macam2 dier ni..
but then i ikut je.
i call an hour afta tat.
she already sleep.
haish.
i feel so miserable..
kacau org tido..apalah..
hurmm..borak2..
she sang some song..
wat i remember is..
she sang..
i know u like me..
i feel so terrible..
but then i need to face it right.
she already knew wat i want..
but then she making it annoying..
grr....luckily i like her.

then someone mcg dier..
tapi org call i while i on the phone ngan dier..
tkde plak i angkt..hurmm.
semua dugaan..
ntah pape ntah..
org laen mcg leh plak dier reply..
????
tkper2.
if this wat it take to get u..
ok fine.
ill face it.

hidup aq serta merta berubah.

abang,abang,abang??...susahnyer jadi abang,padahal aq laki kot..num 2 dari sibling aq..ada kakak kot.tapi nape la aq kena smua..mungkin this is my path..thanks allah.alhamdullillah.mungkin ada sebab musabab aq dijadikan seperti ini.erm..tapi ok..even aq jadi abang pun kan..aq tgk orang laen smua jadi abang jugak..tapi tkder pun sorank yg btol2 main peranan...mcm mana aq tk bengang..but its fate..takdir..no one can change.i guess i need to take one step further than other.thank you ALLAH again.i live for u.hurmmm...papa dah meninggal dunia..tggl aq jer la laki yg plg tua..responsible aq berubah serta merta tat day.i still remember the date n time.17.03.2007 around 10.30pm.im in a camping.i get a call from my warden..said that my dad meninggal dunia while i not on his side tuh.mcm mana nak terima dier da tkder..?until now i not believe that he passed away.on the same day papa meninggal dunia,he call me n ask me how the camp n ada duit tak..?it just take about 5min pun.at least i had talk wit him.n so on then,im goin back to university n meet with my auntie then go straight head back to HKL.along the road i was shocked i cant say anything..then me n my auntie stop by at tapah rest area.semayang smua..pas tuh makan..then sambung blk jalan..until then baru i sedar that my dad passed away.before this i think that my dad still live and the doc on its way help my dad to live.but it was to late.i knew it n i crying sampai la kat hospital.i cant imagine it how much tears i drop tat day.Even dah 2years go...i always remember it always.starting from that day..my life change..my responsible getting heavier n bigger.and i start facing with family problem until now n the problem still on progress.i pray that the problems all will gone fast as i cud think.im tired of all this but wat i can do..its thing u cant face it..so i face it without any malu or wat.muka tebal je la slalu.Org cakap salu senang,bwat tu,bwat ni,keja la,relax la,chill la..they didnt realize wat they see and heard is just the part of the story not the whole story pun..do they care to even a smallest matter???..im starting to be hot tempered,not passionate and always like to mumbling and babbling stupid thing..ish3.wat happen la ngan hidup aq ni..aq terima semuan i sebagai dugaan dan hikmah n aq akan terima setiap masalah yang telah menimpa dan akan menimpa dengan senyuman ikhlas dan hati yg pasrah gila.tuh jer aq leh cakap.kat kawan2 smua,sorry la aq jarang lepak smua,kalo korank meceg aq tk reply,kalo korank call aq tk angkat,bukan apa..terus terang aq cakap,hidup aq berubah n completely change my life.aq tk harap sesiapa pun punya belas kasihan.cuma paham je.aq tk larat da nak pkir sapa aq nak kawan,nak lepak mana,nak cari awek..its over.sapa yg nak berkawan ngan aq kawan lah,sapa nak lepak aq akan cari korank jgn risau,awek..?if ada,ada lah.tkder pun tkper.

someone

iv met tis one person
not actually met,
but i call this person.
it was evening
around 3.30
mendung giler.
its kinda cool la.
tot it was hot.
hehe.
first intention nak ajak lepak..
tapi dier punya excuse is to many..
i cant stand..
she buying my credit..
n it was a good sell..
hahahahaha..
then talk2..
she call me gila,sengal la..
everything that cross her mind..
she will call me la..but the gud surname was ustaz .
hahahaha!!
tats the sweetest of the day la acct..
even tk leh jumpa pun kn..
but then..around 6pm..
ring ring..
tk tahu ni somekind of nak kenakn or perli or wateva..
she call n maybe nak ajak lepak kot..
tapi i da kat umah.
sorry
n overall,
wat i can tell about her is that..
she is really hyper n suka kenakn org..
i cant tell that overall that good part of her kn..
its not fair..
:P
her quote to me that i tk leh lupa..:
u ingat i tergoda ker if u anta mcg cm tuh..
that sound so challenging me..

what a day.

tats why when u go out..ask ur mum..dpat restu dier..baru kuar..dun be like me.haish.it was a disaster + spinning + smile jer lah...:).poor Akim...chill akim..planning going for lepak..there it goes crash.sabar taw akim.benda cam nh mmg tk leh rancang.after the crash,agen insurans n woksyop datang,dorank cam dah plan smua,aq suspicious gila kot.how come out of sudden,tiba2 jer ramai org.but its ok,after akim deal ngan dorank,aq ngan akim naek keta ada sorank mamat tuh g balai.then bwat repot smua.settle.then..the HELP datang.ejad,jipang,amin,rahiman,paan n ajim.
amat sesuailah..time tuh aq n akim tkder transport.then lepak kat balai jub,bincang2 semua setuju lepak kat tunda.seronok gilerr,ejad ngan demam dier..kata nak blk awal dari kul 2,jipang agak letih baru sampai dari ipoh,ajim baru nak lepak lepas sehari duk umah,rahiman baru nak lepak shah alam,akim muka cool but not cool,ameen baru abes skola..kacau abg2 n last skali paan yg baru abes keja rasanya.lepas tuh ada brother mana dtg.then ckp2.aq malas nak layan.duk diam jerk.lepas tuh..dgr azan pertama!!..semua balek.:)